Curtis Rumrill (b. 1980) has two degrees, both presented here as evidence that his music has been vetted. His works have been premiered by (a list of performers in various locations, in order of most impressive to least, leaving you, the reader, only to wonder what he means by “performed by” and “commissioned by,” and how much of the list is padded by half-truths). Prominent individuals have made positive statements about his work, and others have said or written things that could be excerpted and presented out of context as positives, accompanied by verbs such as “to hail,” or “to rave,” or even “to say” (all verbs must be conjugated).

Clearly he is brilliant (for what other purpose would this bio have but to offer evidence of his brilliance? -it is not simply a list of the hoops through which he has jumped, and the precision with which the gymnastic feats were performed), and if the preceding has not done enough to convince you of his brilliance, there is one more sentence. It’s a brief koan and he hopes it will blow your mind.